The past few years have not been great for my career. I have tried and tried to figure out where I went wrong so I could make the appropriate changes. Some answers have come along, but still waiting for more things to happen.
This was supposed to be a good time in my life. I had hoped to have a nice condo or house by now, a newer car, and a nice job living comfortable in a fun city. My dreams of where I thought I would be in my 30s have not come true. It makes me angry.
What was the moment I should have steered in the opposite direction? What year was I supposed to get more out of my comfort zone and travel more? Perhaps I should have tried to write my book at 25 or 27.
Full disclosure: I had an opportunity at 28 to move to a different state. My job was moving and they wanted me to go with them. I had two days to make the decision. I was scared to make the move and turned down the job. I frequently go back to that time and wonder if I screwed up. I don’t know if my life would have been SO much better if I had left. Yet, it is hard to know if I would have had some great experiences being in a new environment.
I tell others I know that are in their 20s to go for it if they want to move away. Do it!! I really do wish I had moved away – not necessarily the city that my job was going to but any other city. I just wish I had opened my mind up to all the possibilities. The sad part is that I didn’t give myself a chance. Fear took over and I let that make my decision for me. I wish I had the confidence to believe I could make it in a new city.
Sometimes I wonder if it’s too late for me to really start over. I know 35 is still young, but it’s not 25. If I could just start fresh at 35 that would be awesome. In four months I will be 36. The plan is to make some significant changes before my birthday. I want to really have something to celebrate this year.
Every new year I go through the same long list of things I wished I had accomplished by now. I never focus on what did happen, but what should have happened. This unhappiness has continued for the last several years. I want to end this now.
I talk a lot of s–t sometimes. I can say a lot of positive things and give great advice to others. I can help others live their best life but I can’t do it for me. I talk a lot about what I am “going to do” but never do it. No more! In 2016 it will be about action.
What I want for 2016
- Make better financial choices
- Organize all areas of my life
- Take my health seriously
- Start a real career (new job has to be on its way)
- Write my book
- Cook more
- Work on more creative projects/volunteer
- Move into a new place *hopefully
- Make new friends that are going to be cool and loyal
- Travel more
- Meet a kind, fun, and intelligent guy
I want to be real with myself this year. I have a lot of growing to do. Growing is painful but I think there will be great rewards in the end.