Fall’s Goodbye

Leaves fall around me

Autumn chills on Grandma’s bones

Want to halt winter …

My grandmother passed away in January.  She was my last grandparent.  My father’s birthday is Halloween.  This will be his first birthday without his mother.  My father always loved having Halloween as a birthday.  Three years ago…my 60-something year-old  father decided to put on a devil mask with a blue Snuggie and jump out to scare the kids.  I tried to convince him no one would be scared of a guy in a Snuggie.  He enjoyed seeing the teenagers scatter.  I guess that’s where I get my crazy personality from…my unpredictable father.

I think of my grandmother now because she was an interesting person.  She was also very unpredictable.  Life is definitely not color by numbers.  Her loss has been hard on my father.  He is not a person who shows emotion, but lately he talks.  He talks when he is sad.  I’m doing the same.  I’m learning something I wish my grandmother did.  She came from a family that thought showing emotion was a bad thing.  No one needed to see crying.  Smiling is not attractive in pictures.  Yes, my grandmother really did believe that.

I miss her and also wish I understood her more.  I had so many questions for her.   I am blessed to still have my father.  I have so many questions for him now.  I don’t want ‘winter’ to come until I can get my thoughts out.  I am so glad he gets to celebrate another birthday this weekend.  My father has come close to death a few times.  God obviously decided he has more things to complete before it’s time to go.

Thank you God . . .

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