Your fingers wrap around my neck too easy. I wish you didn’t make me choke. No, I don’t know what you are thinking. The way you speak coldly tells me I’m leaving your consciousness.
See, I needed one more conversation to explain. I miss you. I want to grab you and hug you. It would be great to hear you say it will be different next time. I want to latch onto you before the wind blows you away. Since it’s Fall I thought we could run in the park and tell each other silly stories. The laughing is gone. The smiles are missing. Why do I want to fight you? I do. I want to drag you someone and hide you for a few days. Just me and you somewhere with just a little light. I would show you all my wounds. Instead…when you look at me I know you are thinking of grabbing me by the wrists and leading me into oncoming traffic. I really am fighting you now. I’m pushing and pulling, screaming expletives, and begging for mercy. I hate and miss you at the same time. No, I hate that I miss you. I wish I didn’t care anymore.