Life

No Delicate Flower Here…

Pink. Woman. Equality. Feminism.  I have been debating this for years.  Not all women are delicate.  We can be very feminine and still be strong. Not all women like pink or frilly stuff.  Let me be clear:  I want a man who will stand by me but not necessarily always feel the need to save me.  He will understand when to step aside and let me save myself.

For example, I am increasingly frustrated that girls are expected to play with dolls and boys get to be destructive with their trucks. Who said all girls want to play with dolls? Who determined that all girls are supposed to like pink?

My confession: I LOVED pink as a girl.  When I was 9 years old my mom decided I could have a bedroom makeover.   She let me pick out my carpet and I chose PINK …AND I MEAN PINK!  But I never liked to to sew or bake.  I didn’t understand the excitement about Easy Bake Ovens.  I would rather play with my brother’s Hot Wheels.  But I wasn’t a tomboy.  Yeah, it was confusing for me too at that age.

I was a weird mix of pink-loving girl who also liked combat boots.  In fact, when I got to high school I used to wear one of my favorite outfits.  Pink shirt and pink jeans with black combat boots.  I was a girl, but I was never too girly.

When I started writing as a teenager, boys would ask me if I wrote love stories.   I would get angry.

  1. Why would I write about something I didn’t have a clue about. Love? At 14 and 15. No way.
  2. Why would I care about love? Because I was a female?!

I was irritated by the notion. I was no more likely to write about “love” at 15 than any boy at that age. It was ridiculous.  But I guess my pink jeans were probably ridiculous too.

I was always confused about who I was because I was “in the middle”.  I wasn’t a tomboy but I wasn’t real girly either.  I didn’t know a lot of girls like myself.  They were usually one or the other.  What did it really mean to be an admixture.  I desperately wanted to know.

I think when you edge closer and closer to your mid 20s you really do find yourself. I don’t wear pink so much anymore, but it is OK. I don’t wear combat boots either. I am happy with wearing green. I like my heels.  Yet, there are still days when I would rather be out hiking than baking a ton of brownies.

3 thoughts on “No Delicate Flower Here…

  1. You should never have to apologize for who you are. Who wants to be “normal” anyway? My daughter had to wear something pink last year for breast cancer awareness day at school. We had to scramble to find a shirt that had some pink in it because neither one of us had any pink in our closets. I never noticed until then that we lack that color in our wardrobe.

  2. Um, so were you excited when She-Ra came out, or the Powerpuff Girls came out? Kidding at 50%. Really, I think it’s acceptable for females to be tomboys than vice versa. I think males are questioned if they do something that questions their manhood. Being who we are is a tough find, but rewarding.

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